I need to talk about my little #adventure yesterday. I really wanted to see the city to explore and see if I’d feel comfortable #downtown. I’m from #smallville #ohio, also known a Xenia, OH. I’m the smallest of small town girls. I’m the girl next door. Up until recently I was extremely shy. So when I say I wasn’t ready for my encounters yesterday…Lord! ….. I WAS NOT READY. I have never ever ever saw myself as even remotely attractive, cute, pretty or anything of the sort. Don’t get me wrong, i love me some me, but like I said, I’m just the girl next door type.. So when I started to get hit on and leered at to the point that I wanted to jump into the river it was all new. And a little uncomfortable. Being looked at the way I look at mac and cheese is, well, #gross. Especially being a #muslimah and someone who #covers. Im used to creeps sliding in my inbox, but that.. y’all 😣😣😣😣 #ICantEven.
Tell yourself you’re beautiful
With your messy hair and sleepy eyes
Walk around in your underwear…
If you’re ever so daring, take a selfie..or ten
Look at you
Really look at you
Forget every other body you’ve ever seen
On T.V., in the magazines, in your life
You have no business comparing your body to theirs.
For a second, just pretend that no other bodies exist
It’s not so bad when you’re not trying to measure it up to others is it?
Thighs that have touched since forever
Whatever your unique body story
We’re not meant to be carbon copies of each other
Take care of yourself
Just be your best you and love it.
-Krazy Aunt Kat
Just took my first drug test! Aside from the fact that I had to take the test for one of the jobs I applied for Sunday, I’m excited because it was a completely new experience for me and I’m all about embracing new experiences, even if it is just “depositing my specimen” into a cup. Lol. #TMI #SorryNotSorry
Yup, it’s Valentines Day. I don’t celebrate it, and even if I did…..well…. I’m so single that my single is single. And, as someone with very few friends, especially being that I’m still relatively new here, no Galentines festivities for me either.
Honestly, I don’t thing I’m built for relationships. Of any kinds. Whether it be friendship, romantic, marriage etc. I’m so neurotic about my personal space that I can’t even live with anyone, regardless of how much I may like them. That’s another thing; I don’t like others the way normal people do. I so rarely form actual attachments to people, it’s like “I like you while you’re here, wanna leave? There’s the door”. I suppose after years of feelings of rejection and abandonment, you’re bound to come out of it a little bit wonky. A little scarred. A little tattered. A little torn.
I’m okay with my broken bits, but I find it so darn frustrating that no matter how mature I get, no matter how much self-affirmation I do, no matter how mentally and emotionally strong I become, that little girl inside of me will forever feel unloved… unloveable. Don’t get me wrong, I think I have some awesome qualities (though I’ll always be a work in progress), that little girl in me will never truly believe that people actually like her. Never. That being said, I’m not an insecure person and I don’t need validation from anyone. At the end of the day, the only opinion of me that matters is my own. And I think I’m fabulous. Most of the time….Sometimes.
Spring semester start in 90 days! ( Yes I’m wearing that hoodie again from the previous university I attended) That’s 90 days to secure a new job….I REALLY hope I get something within the next two weeks. 90 days to decide if I should move closer to the university (Apartments are way cheaper over there). 90 days seems like a long time, but trust me, it’ll be Spring before we know it, and I’ll need to ready. Pray for me ya’ll.
Honestly, I’m seriously excited about going back to school! I love learning, and since I FINALLY have a clear idea of what I want to do, no more feeling lost, no more wasting money… Oh, money.. The route of all evil, Lol. I’ve applied for financial aid, but I don’t want to take out any more student loans. Student loans are the devil -_-. I’m still trying to pay off my previous ones. I gotta say, it’ll be quite an accomplishment to pay my way through school though. I can see me now, working by day, school by night (or vice versa), Hustling hard. Online classes would be ideal, except that getting internet service is out of the question. The last thing I need is another monthly bill. The struggle, as they say, is oh so real. But I got this.
“They plan, and God plans, and God is the Best Of Planners.”
Life is funny sometimes. So even though I have goals, and plans to achieve them, God may have another plan for me, or another route for me to get there. So I’ll keep doing what I have to do and take things as they come. Balance is key. Faith and action.
I had plans to spend my income tax refund to decorate me apartment. Yeah, well, now it looks like I’ll be spending it bills. But I ain’t mad though. I’m just grateful my bills will get paid. Decorating can wait.Or I’ll do it a little at a time. OOOOR, I’ll have a job by the time a get my check! A win, win, win 😀 We shall see shan’t we? A girl can dream right?
They say, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade… But what if I don’t have sugar, honey, agave nectar or some kind of sweetener? Better yet, what if I don’t have water by which to make said lemonade?…. Yes I’m being difficult. I know very well that the age-old saying means one should make the best/something good out of a wonky situation. And that’s what I do, all day, everyday. That being said, it’s not always easy. Continue reading “When Life Gives You Lemons..”
No, no I’m not crazy, I swear on the blue birds over flying over the rainbow! *insert mischievous smirking emoji here*
So, why did I choose the name Krazy Aunt Kat for my blog? (it’s also the name of my personal Instagram account, follow up) Well, I like to pretend I’m the eccentric yet ever so wise spinster aunt to my 12 nieces and nephews. They all call me Aunt Kat, so adding Krazy at the begging was fitting..At least I thought so.
If you’ve read the about you know that I’m 27 from Ohio, hecka single, trying live my best life. When I was younger, I had a whole idea of what my life would be like at this age: married, kids, the cliche. Boy was infitely wrong! And at first I was upset about it, I felt lost, I was angry at myself for not being able to “figure my life out”, but I’ve come to realize, there is nothing to figure out. Life is a journey, and to live our best life, we need to fully experiance the now, revel in it, dance in it. Don’t worry too much about what could be (that isn’t to say we shouldn’t have goals), and never ever waste your time thinking about should have been because guess what, if it should have been, it would have been.
That’s all for now sweeties, have a blessed day.
One of the most destructive things you can do is compare you life to those of others; to compare their successes to yours, or lack thereof. There is, afterall, no roadmap to life that we all should be following. How could there be, if we all want different things? Are going different places? Your path is completely your own and attempting to follow the path of others is the surest way to get lost.
– Krazy Aunt Kat
So… here we go.
Down the rabbit hole
Through the deepest crevices of my mind.
To the haunting abyss of my soul..
Lol, just kidding, this isn’t going to be a sad blog, just a real and honest one, full of my life, my truths and my opinions. To those of you reading that already know me, “heeeeeey!!!” to those who don’t, “good to meet yah.”. I’ll tell you a little bit more about me and why I chose the title for the blog and all the jazz in my next post so stay tunes.