Switching Gears.. and Switching Back
Hello Dear Readers!
I know, I know, it’s been a while since my last post, and if you follow me on Instagram you already know what happened but for those who don’t: I WAS IN A FASHION SHOW. And I wasn’t just modelling for someone, no sirree, I actually showcased MY BRAND, Strange Ones Nation in an actual fashion show here in Michigan. Totally epic and insane right!? The whole shebang went down earlier this month, March 9th to be exact.
Early February I was asked by the host of the fashion show if I’d like to showcase and after momentarily freaking out, letting the self doubt, insecurity and feelings of inadequacy wash over over me, I said yes. I would have been a complete fool to say no. I say it all the time, if you open yourself up to the universe, the universe will open itself to you. Anyhoo, as a result of the showcase, I had to halt everything. I stopped typing my book, stopped “trying to better my health”, I barely posted on social media.
The whole experience was INCREDIBLE! I can still hardly believe it happened. I learned so much about myself, about the behind the scenes of big events, production, branding, networking and then some. The most excruciating part of the whole process was that fact that as someone behind the scenes, directing and styling, I couldn’t be in the audience taking photos of my models during there runway walks. Thankfully, my mother did take a video on her not so up to day cell phone (which I will post the link to below) and the host of the show filmed it, I just don’t have a copy yet.
Now that everything is sufficiently settled, I can get back to life. But I have to tell you, once you start saying yes to life, be careful, because once you start riding those highs of stepping outside of your comfort zone, you may never be able to live a normal life again.
Follow the link to my Facebook Page for the better vid.
2018, I’m Coming For You
Hello Sweeties! It’s been ages! I don’t think I’ve posted anything since last summer. It’s safe to say, I’ve become quite the ghost on the social media scene but I’m slowly sliding back out of the woodwork and becoming an active participant in my own life. Scratch that, I’m becoming a leader in my own life.
The first week of the year was a bust but I’ve committed myself to getting my act together, pushing my fears aside and doing the dang thing. I’ve spent the last week sketching and designing, trying to develop a brand identity for myself. Three years studying Graphic Design is paying off. I was up till after midnight last night tweaking designing and finally got something I’m satisfied with; don’t worry, I know I’m being insanely vague but yall will see soon Insha allah (God willing).
My plan was to do some more designing all day today, unfortunately, that wasn’t possible so instead, I got dressed and vlogged a little shopping to buy some filming and organizational equipment on a budget. I went to Dollar Tree and Burlington. Bought a desk calendar, some pens and pencils, a not pad and a vent and window phone mount for my car. The vent mount is going back because the window mount is a far better option. I need the mount because I’ll likely(sadly) be filming a lot from my car because currently it’s the only private place I have. I know it’s not ideal but if I were to wait until I am able to get my own place again, it would be ages until I could anything started and the time is now. No more excuses.
Anyway, back to my shopping trip, I wanted to buy another selfie-stick but there was this guy standing next to them the ENTIRE time I was in Dollar Tree. I circled back a few timed hoping he had moved. He didn’t. Now, now, I’m not scared of any man, buut, when I was near him the first time getting my vent mount, he said “I like your make-up” and that was it for me. Compliments in general make me uncomfortable, compliments from guys gross me out. I don’t like imagining random guys find me attractive. I know, I’m weird.
I never got to finish filming my day because my phone ever so politely informed me that it was “dangerously low on space’. Son of a biscuit. Oh well. Next thing I need to invest in is a memory card…. and probably a camcorder instead of using my phone for everything. However, the last thing I need is more stuff. My car is already full enough.. Gosh I need to get my own place again. Pray for me ya’ll.
One last thing! If you haven’t already, check out my spoken word post on youtube!
I’m Just a Small Town Girl
I need to talk about my little #adventure yesterday. I really wanted to see the city to explore and see if I’d feel comfortable #downtown. I’m from #smallville #ohio, also known a Xenia, OH. I’m the smallest of small town girls. I’m the girl next door. Up until recently I was extremely shy. So when I say I wasn’t ready for my encounters yesterday…Lord! ….. I WAS NOT READY. I have never ever ever saw myself as even remotely attractive, cute, pretty or anything of the sort. Don’t get me wrong, i love me some me, but like I said, I’m just the girl next door type.. So when I started to get hit on and leered at to the point that I wanted to jump into the river it was all new. And a little uncomfortable. Being looked at the way I look at mac and cheese is, well, #gross. Especially being a #muslimah and someone who #covers. Im used to creeps sliding in my inbox, but that.. y’all 😣😣😣😣 #ICantEven.
La Femme Khadeejah
Ok Sweeties! Today is Wednesday and I’m embarking on something new. Or at least, attempting to. First thing you should know about me is, I abhor fashion. I hate the idea that this or that is what people “should be wearing”. I hate trends, being “in style” etc. Now, I absolutely love clothes as a form of SELF expression. Expressing yourself, your personality, not what people suggest you express.
All that being said, the thing I need to express, to the entire world, every single day I step out of my home is: I am a proud Muslim woman. I’m a covered girl. My dress not only expresses my personality but my religious devotion. Now there are a ton of Hijabi fashionistas or Hijabistas and modest fashion and bloggers are all the rage these days. Muslimah is the new black. And as a firm anti trend follower, while respect what they do, It wasn’t for me and I was not about to be just another hijabi beauty blogger.
I’ve noticed a newly developed need. The thing about modest fashion, is that the term modest is open to interpretation and there are varying degrees what is considered modest. But the most popular bloggers and icons in the modest movement don’t dress like me. They don’t cover as much. This is in no way a judgement, it’s an observation. They are out there slaying the game and in many ways are helping the way this country (The US) views Muslim women.
I’m the laid back chick who never has her face beat, eyebrows are never on fleek, I do not now, nor will I ever rock a turban. I don’t expose my neck, any portion of my hair or arms, I avoid tight clothes and I hate pants, lol. But I haven’t seen any one out there that represents girls & women like me. Now I’m not someone who ever needed representation, I never needed to see myself on television, in magazines. But I realize, most people do. Most people crave seeing their likeness in the media for validation. Hence the need I previously mentioned. I have nieces. My baby girls. 8 months to 18 years old. And I’m starting this new “fashion/style” blog for them. For the covered girls.
You’re Beautiful.. Just The Way You Are
Wake up in the morning and look in the mirror
Tell yourself you’re beautiful
With your messy hair and sleepy eyes
Walk around in your underwear…
If you’re ever so daring, take a selfie..or ten
Look at you
Really look at you
Forget every other body you’ve ever seen
On T.V., in the magazines, in your life
You have no business comparing your body to theirs.
For a second, just pretend that no other bodies exist
It’s not so bad when you’re not trying to measure it up to others is it?
Thighs that have touched since forever
Whatever your unique body story
We’re not meant to be carbon copies of each other
Take care of yourself
Just be your best you and love it.
-Krazy Aunt Kat
Life happens… Then what?
It’s been a while. I just much prefer to blog on a computer rather than my phone and I haven’t been to the library in a bit… which explains my overdue DVDs. *lowers head in shame*
Feliz Sabado! It’s a frigid 20 degrees today in North East Michigan and my skin is not happy about it, neither is my heart, soul and spirit, lol.
Life if full of an accumulation of good and bad, happy and sad moments and happenings. It’s out of our control. But you know what is in our control? Our reactions. Our reactions to negative stimuli is ever so crucial to living a happier, healthier life. Mind you, oftentimes it’s far more easily said than done but I’m living proof that not only is it possible to remain positive and upbeat in the midst of trails, but also necessary.
Life will happen, and continue to happen, whether or not you’re in a good place, or equipped to deal with it. You can either sink or swim; those are your only options.
– Krazy Aunt Kat
I am happy to report that I am now officially, officially, official at my new job! I completed my job orientation on Wednesday and Thursday and let me just tell you, I have never in my life come across people who are so passionate about their jobs/place of employment. It blew my mind. I learned so much in those two days (8 hr both days) that will not only help me in my specific job, but also in my life and my future. I finished orientation feeling so inspired and life felt so full of promise.
Orientation started at 8 A.M. so I decided to stay with my sister for those days since I live about an hour from work. It all worked out… Until it didn’t. On Wednesday, several parts of Michigan experienced severe winds that caused some major power outages state-wide. Thankfully my sisters home kept its power and made the false assumption that my apartment would have kept its power. Wrong. Last night I got home, the lights were, sigh of relief. Then I opened my freezer, it didn’t feel as cold as it should have. Then I felt my frozen fruit… not as solid as I should have been, my ground beef, covered in ice crystals, also not as solid as it should have been. Crap.
So this morning I collected the contents of my freezer and fridge and threw them in the dumpster. On the plus side, I honestly didn’t have much, however, I went to not having much to having almost nothing in the way of food. I do have pasta and sauce so I know what I’m having for dinner tonight: Spaghetti. I foresee myself losing a lot of weight in the coming weeks, but it’s all good. I praise God and take in my stride. I don’t get paid till Friday.My car needs gas, I’m hungry, bills need to be paid, still haven’t secured a second job, but I’m genuinely not kidding when I say I’m not worried. Worry isn’t going to help me in the least. Prayer and action are the only things that will help me. I’m going to keep applying for a second job, I’m going to use what little money that remains in my account to put gas in my car and buy a few things to eat. I may even splurge on some chocolate! I’m going to be just fine, and so will you.
Hugs and Kisses,
Krazy Aunt Kat
And Keep Trusting Those Instincts…
It’s March! And that means Spring is just around the corner! Although, I’ve been fairly warned about what to expect from a typical Michigan winter, which is temperatures flipping anywhere from 30 degree(Fahrenheit) and snowing to 70 and gorgeous until BOOM, Summer. Hot. Sticky. Summer. But I much prefer warm (not hot) to the cold so I shall make a point to go out and embrace the sporadic higher temps when I am graced with them.
So, this week has been interesting! Remember that car rental place I interviewed at last Wednesday? The one I was not feeling and was sure bombed the interview.. They called me on Friday and OFFERED ME A JOB. I’m still utterly confused! My friend and niece said it must have been because the thought I was cute and was too charming, respectively. The guy called FIVE times within less than an hour. I really didn’t want to deal with it but I had to put on my big girl panties and deal with it so I answered the fifth call.The coversation:
Him (HR Rep): Hey, this is *insert name here*, we were looking over your resume and we’d like you to join our team!! You’ll start on Monday, I’ll send out an email with the details.
Him: Yeah! *giggles*
Me: You sure??
Him: Yes! Sure! Sure! *chuckles*
I know, that wasn’t the most professional conversation I’ve ever had but Good Lord I was confused! I specifically told the owner of the company my misgivings about working there. Seriously, what was he thinking? And onto what I was thinking after I hung up. Is this a sign? Am I supposed to take this job after all? Were my instincts that wrong? I’m broke. This is my only job prospect. I’m broke. Maybe I misread the entire situation. It’s full-time. Huge growth opportunity. Pays well. Did I mention I’m broke? What choice did I really have? Saturday morning I, hating myself, went to Target and purchased a black blazer and white blouse in preparation for my first day of employment after nearly two full months. A whopping sixty bucks that I really didn’t have to spare by the way!
Fast forward to that evening. I get a phone call, Detroit area, I didn’t answer, a message was left. It was from a job that I had applied for, what seems like an eternity ago saying that my drug test and background check had gone through and that I could start on Tuesday…. So. Now I have two job offers, starting within a day of each other, one is full-time and pays well, one is part-time and not so much. I’m broke remember, the choice was pretty clear. Sunday night rolls along, I iron up my blouse and blazer, set my alarm.Ready.
Alarm goes off Monday morning. I can’t do it. I just can’t. Sure the “adult” thing would have been to get my butt out of bed and do what needed to be done but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t make that sacrifice. I’m a dreamer after all, an aspiring risk taker. In that moment, it wasn’t about what I should do, but what I needed to do, for my self, for my spirit. So I sent the HR Rep an email thanking him for the consideration but that I had to decline because I had received another job offer. Tuesday morning I was finally able to get in touch with someone from the other job, I went in, got their 40 minutes late, met my new coworkers. Yesterday was the second day at my new job. At a museum. And yes it’s part-time with unsustainable pay. But yesterday was special. Yesterday, this happened:
Fellow trainee: You’re into graphics right?
Me: Yeah… how did you know??
FT: I was in it for years, I can always tell
Me: Oh! I actually have a degree in graphic arts
FT: So you do websites and stuff??
Me:I mostly do print work, business cards, signage etc
FT: Alright. We’ll talk.
Yesterday, I had a moment where I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
– Aunt Kat
He Would Be the One Who…
What Things May Come
Well guys, we are nearing the end of February, gorgeous weather we’re having might I add, and I still don’t have a job! If you’re new to my blog, feel free to read through my earlier posts to get the low down on my story 🙂 Of course, not having an income currently is a struggle but thankfully, I received my tax refund earlier this month so I’m okay for now. Sure I’m a tiny bit sad that I couldn’t use the money to glam up my apartment but hey, I’m just grateful I was able to eat, pay my car-note and keep a roof over my head for another month.
It’ll never be all doom and gloom with me, I’ve become a glass half full type of gal. And trust me, it hasn’t been easy to get to this point. Just a few years ago, I was such the Negative Nancy, I even earned the nickname of Pessimistic Pita Bread (don’t ask). One key thing to not is that I was only ever downer on my own life. I was always a big cheerleader for others, just not for myself. I felt like “It’s my life, I can be as negative about it as I want to be.” Please, don’t ever adopt that attitude.
Yesterday, two positive things happened. #1: A local business saw my resume on a state job site and wants me to come in to interview TOMORROW. I have no idea what that position is for, but I know it’s at a car rental company (yes, I did my research. It’s legit). Now I know I’ve said that I don’t want just any job, but I am all about new experiences and learning new skills. Besides, by going back to school, I am working toward my career goal (I’ll discuss that in another post).
#2: I reconnected with my very best friend, and I don’t use the words best and friend willy-nilly… especially not together, so that shows just how special this person is to me. ❤
Speaking of people and the past! I was on my writing Instagram account, as you can tell from my previous posts, I’ve been in the writing mood of late. Anyway, I was scrolling through my list of people I should follow and who do I see? None other than the dummy who missed out on the best thing he’d ever have (I don’t like the term “ex-fiance”, it just doesn’t capture it, lol ). My question is, how? How are we being connected? I made my account long after he and I were done. I don’t have his number, I can’t imagine how he could possibly have mine. We have no mutual connections. So once again, how? I remember about a year or two ago he showed as “people you may know” on Facebook. We were NEVER connected through Facebook. In fact, he didn’t even have a Facebook when we were a thing…. Hmmmm. Anyway, another story for another day.