Blog

Switching Gears.. and Switching Back

Posted on by Khadeejah in Creative writing, faith, hijab, Inspirational, Journey, Lifestyle, muslim, Struggle, Uncategorized

Hello Dear Readers!

I know, I know, it’s been a while since my last post, and if you follow me on Instagram you already know what happened but for those who don’t: I WAS IN A FASHION SHOW. And I wasn’t just modelling for someone, no sirree, I actually showcased MY BRAND, Strange Ones Nation in an actual fashion show here in Michigan. Totally epic and insane right!? The whole shebang went down earlier this month, March 9th to be exact.

My sisters and I after fixing our make up and waiting for the show to start.

Early February I was asked by the host of the fashion show if I’d like to showcase and after momentarily freaking out, letting the self doubt, insecurity and feelings of inadequacy wash over over me, I said yes. I would have been a complete fool to say no. I say it all the time, if you open yourself up to the universe, the universe will open itself to you. Anyhoo, as a result of the showcase, I had to halt everything. I stopped typing my book, stopped “trying to better my health”, I barely posted on social media.

My models before the show

The whole experience was INCREDIBLE! I can still hardly believe it happened. I learned so much about myself, about the behind the scenes of big events, production, branding, networking and then some. The most excruciating part of the whole process was that fact that as someone behind the scenes, directing and styling, I couldn’t be in the audience taking photos of my models during there runway walks. Thankfully, my mother did take a video on her not so up to day cell phone (which I will post the link to below) and the host of the show filmed it, I just don’t have a copy yet.

My models and I

Now that everything is sufficiently settled, I can get back to life. But I have to tell you, once you start saying yes to life, be careful, because once you start riding those highs of stepping outside of your comfort zone, you may never be able to live a normal life again.

Me on the red carpet
My mom’s vid

https://www.facebook.com/FeisTea.Kat/

Follow the link to my Facebook Page for the better vid.

Silhouette solutions

Posted on by Khadeejah in Fashion, hijab, Journey, La Femme Khadeejah, Lifestyle, muslim, Uncategorized

This week, we’re going to focus on silhouettes. I can’t talk about silhouettes without also talking about body types as they go hand and hand in many cases, however the main focus of the next few blog posts will keep silhouettes as the primary focus.

There are a vast number of ways dresses and abayas are cut, shaped and draped but some of the most popular ones are: A-line, empire, mermaid, sheath, and ballgown.

https://accent.sg/blogs/editorial/dress-silhouettes-for-different-body-types

Contrary to the popular societal standard, the goal is not to accentuate…

Khadeejah Abdushakur

Sometimes, many times, while we are navigating the journey of covering more, or dressing in way we believe to be more religiously acceptable, we make a b-line for two things: abayas, or maxi dresses, if we don’t want to plunge headfirst into abayaland. Let me stop here for a second and say that regardless of how something fits, if it’s a step up, it’s a step up, alhamdulillah masha allah. We aren’t in the shame game over here. If you’ve made the transition from showing skin to a body-hugging maxi dress that shows no skin, ALHAMDULILLAH. Our journeys are so individualized to us, and it’s very hard to grow in the publicity of the social media spaces without judgement and critique. This is a shame free safe zone over here. We are here to learn and grow. And because this is a lifelong journey, know that we will slip and fall, stop, go backwards, you are human. We are human. Perfection is not the goal. Effort is. Intention is.

Contrary to the popular societal standard, the goal is not to accentuate our “best” assets with our clothing, which makes it VERY difficult to buy clothing from mainstream brands or Muslim brands who adhere to the mainstream standard. But it’s not impossible and there is hope, and I am here to help. In the image above I’m wearing a sleeveless, straight maxi dress from Boohoo with an open front butterfly abaya from The Abaya Company London. I took these photo’s in the house but if I want go out comfortably in this fit, I’d fasten the abaya closed with a clip because while the dress is not extremely fitted, it’s giving more than it needs to give.

Layers on layers

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but while it wont always be required, get comfortable with layering, it’s going to be your best friend while figuring out which silhouettes work best for your body to give you the coverage that you’re looking for. Depending on how a dress, or shirt for that matter is shaped, you may not need any layers to be fully covered, without your shape showing. I’ll share some of my favorite styles that don’t require layering later, insha allah. Layering allows you to wear the dress you love without compromise or looking sloppy because you sized way up hoping for a looser fit.

Did I mention that the mainstream “style for your body” guidelines will be of little to no hope for the modest aspiring gal because they focus accentuating body parts, making something look fuller, while making other parts appear slimmer. How do they phrase it? “to balance out the body” i.e, make everyone look like an hourglass because that is of course the only desirable body type (that last part is sarcasm btw).

Stick with me, i’ll show you a thing or two.

Until next post,

Love ya!

How to Cover in a Sustainable Way this Ramadhan

Posted on by Khadeejah in Fashion, Journey, La Femme Khadeejah, Uncategorized

Peace and Blessings Beloveds,

Ramadhan Mubaarak!

I know many Muslims take a hiatus from social media during Ramadhan, to focus on their spiritual growth but this year, I’ve felt called to contribute something to the social media space, specifically during Ramadhan.  As the title above states, How to Cover in a Sustainable Way this Ramadhan. Now, sustainable here is not referring to eco-friendly fashion, baby steps. When I talk about dressing modestly in a sustainable way I mean, being able to style yourself in a way that you can maintain without feeling burnt out, stuck, uninspired and returning to “easier”, less modest options.  Ramadhan is just the starting point, but it is my hope that we can build on the momentum created in this month.

Sadly, little grace and understanding is offered to Muslim women as they begin to navigate their modesty journey. Not everyone was swathed in fabric from head-to-toe fabric since infancy… probably black, brown or grey, and if you’re a little spicy, navy blue. Dressing modestly does not come easily to most, especially in societies that cater to the male gaze i.e the world. I have to stop and credit my mother, who is a little rebellious and undoubtedly put her foot and made sure there was some kind of balance to mine and my sisters fashion styling. I can’t recall a time when I didn’t wear hijab, the colloquial term for the Muslim woman head covering by the global Muslim majority.  

Whether you were born Muslim, converted, Muslim curious, trying to release yourself of the chokehold of bodycon dresses, wherever you are if you have a genuine desire to cover more, this just might be the space for you.  Welcome.

I’ve spent YEARS curating my personal style, battling with what some might call body dysmorphia, and trying to dress myself in a way that feels good, is authentic to me and in accordance to my understanding of what is required islamically. It has not been and easy so journey, as you’ll come to find out, but I cant wait to share what I’ve learned, and continue to learn on this life long journey of fashion, body acceptance and Muslim womanhood. So glad you’re here. See you soon.

I guess i have some explaining to do..

Posted on by Khadeejah in Uncategorized

So here I am, sitting here on a random Tuesday thinking about the blog that could have been. Then I thought, what if it still could be. Those of you who don’t follow me on Instagram @ feistea.kat, then you might be wondering where I’ve been all these years. Who am I kidding? You’ve forgotten all about me. If we’re being honest, I’ve forgotten a little about me to.

So here’s a quick and dirty run of the last few years.

So yeah, we have a lot of catching up to do. I hope you’ll forgive me for my absence. My theme for this year is reclamation so here I am reclaiming something meaningful.

Sit down and strap in. It’s going to be a wild ride!

Love Ya!

Khadeejah

Vending table for Kovered in Joy! koveredinjoy.com muslimah mugs, hijabi mugs

Stood Up

Posted on by Khadeejah in Art, Creative writing, faith, hijab, Inspirational, Journey, Lifestyle, muslim, Struggle

When I first opened the package containing the crimson dress covered in a pattern of white hearts, my immediate thought was “Date Night”. But after quick contemplation, I realized I would not be able to accurately depict something photographically that is beyond my experience. I therefore opted for “Stood Up” as the inspiration for the photo shoot as I have more than enough experience in that arena. (I should also point out that being “ghosted” is the online equivalent of being stood up).

The photo shoot brought a myriad of thoughts, feelings and experiences to the surface. Thoughts, feelings and experiences that I would rather pretend don’t exist, except that I can’t… Because sadly these are still on the highlight reel of the current events of my life.

With the exception of one, I have been ghosted by EVERY SINGLE guy that I have ever been interested in, thought that I was building a connection with, or claimed was interested in me.

Men don’t like me. At least that’s the narrative that has been reinforced over the 3 decades of my life, starting from my father. I try to convince myself otherwise. I tell myself that I am amazing and that I am worthy of being loved and accepted, that I am quit the catch. Well, the guys that I have talked to would beg to differ. With the exception of one, I have been ghosted by EVERY SINGLE guy that I have ever been interested in, thought that I was building a connection with, or claimed was interested in me. I still don’t understand if I’m doing something wrong to send them packing without so much as a goodbye or if they only pretended to interested. After all, these are men who approached me, men who claimed to be interested in me, men who wanted to talk to me and supposedly wanted to contact my father because they were just sooooo seriously interested. The lies and deception yall, lies and deception.

What’s the point of it all, I wonder? My younger, more naive self could never fathom that a guy would pretend to like me because I couldn’t understand what he would have to gain from it. I don’t always understand why “normal” people do what they do. I suppose it’s entirely possible that they became uninterested once they realized I was an actual person and not just a picture (surprise!). But I’d be lying if I told you it didn’t affect me a bit at times. You can tell yourself you’re fabulous all you want but when guy after guy keeps pulling the vanishing act your brain comes up with two options: there is something wrong with you or all men are lousy. Now obviously those are both false statements but sometimes the consciousness likes to oversimplify for the sake of self preservation. Because gosh dangit I AM fabulous [and quirky, kind, intelligent and a whole of positive (and negative) qualities].

Some of you may know I have been on a journey to prove that not only are there great men out there, but there is one out there for me. It’s been a rather tragic journey, I must confess. I’ve been taking a breather from all of the matrimony apps because sis! it was getting dark out there and I didn’t need that kind of negativity in my life. Lol. But I haven’t given up hope! No ma’am, I will not be defeated! #ChallengeAccepted #NotTodaySatan

My youtube series Kissing Khadeejah documenting my journey to find love.

I thought it was important for me to talk openly about this because for years, so many people, people who know me, have insinuated that the cause of my singleness is that I am rejecting all who are interested, which to be clear, is not many at all. The fact is, they keep leaving me. I guess I’ve just been too embarrassed to come clean because I thought to made me look bad. I allowed people to believe I was some cold, heartbreaking maneater.

Heartbreaker

I dont know what is about me that has people thinking I go around collecting hearts in jars and leaving scars
They think….
Im a heart breaker
And its crazy to me because I stand before today to declare that never have
A heart
I broken
Rather it is my heart
My soul
My feelings and emotions that have been trampled over
By actions about which go unspoken
Discarded like a toy that is no longer new and there therefor devoid of interest and value
But its my own fault you see
I have this need to control the story
So when men do wrong to me
I do right by them
When people ask what went wrong, I shoulder the responsibilty
And never blame him
Because
I guess
Maybe
Perhaps
At the end of the day
Id rather be seen as cruel
Than look like a fool – FKA

By the way ya’ll, dont forget to check out all the photos from my Stood Up photo shoot here!

My Hate-Hate relationship with Self Promotion

Posted on by Khadeejah in Art, Creative writing, faith, hijab, Inspirational, Journey, Lifestyle, muslim, Struggle, Uncategorized
15% off all purchases at koveredinjoy.ecwid.com AND FREE SHIPPING!! … no forreal! Promocode: HAJJ2019

Ok, now that that is out of the way.

A random facebook friend and fellow entrepreneur messaged me about some of the woes of being in business with oneself and invited me to join her in promoting our respective businesses EVERY DAY OF AUGUST. As daunting as it sounds, I’m actually going to try, I mean, I have no shortage of businesses to promote. By the way, check out my other page, oddballcreativesllc.wordpress.com.

Now that the challenge is on, I have to finish a poem I started, do a photoshoot to pair with said poem, and post to my million social media outlets….

Pray for me yall😘

Cute as A Button!

Posted on by Khadeejah in Art, Creative writing, faith, Fashion, hijab, Inspirational, Journey, La Femme Khadeejah, Lifestyl9, Lifestyle, muslim, Struggle, Uncategorized

So the sample mugs I ordered for my Kovered in Joy! brand arrived yesterday (I ordered 3 of the 4 styles). I have to say, they’re totally adorable! And I swear, I’m not just saying that because I’m biased, no one is more critical of me than me.

I’m loving how vibrant and playful the colors came out. My plan was to take some great photos of myself holding the mugs for my website :www.koveredinjoy.ecwid.com , and that was a complete and utter FAIL.

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again…. Maybe next week.

Kovered in Joy!

Posted on by Khadeejah in Art, Creative writing, faith, Fashion, hijab, Inspirational, La Femme Khadeejah, Lifestyle, muslim, Struggle

Hey ya’ll!

I knoooow, I knoooooooow! I’ve been quite the ghost. I’ve been busy with entrepreneurial-ship, kids, instagram and depression. BUT I’m am planning to make time to post to this blog as I am continuing with making changes.

One such change: La Femme Khadeejah(The style blog portion) is now Kovered in Joy!

So, something crazy happened earlier this week. Someone messaged me on my professional Instagram account (@oddballcreativesllc) inquiring whether or not I was the person who designed some mugs on Society 6. Turns out I am. But here is the crazy part, I COMPLETELY forgot that I had made created and submitted art for purchase. It was 2017 and my life was falling apart around me, you may remember if you’ve been reading for a while, and my need to create in order to maintain my sanity drove me to make the designs in question. Anyhoo, I posted an image of the mugs that the lady from instagram had purchased from society 6, of which I earned under $3.00 in profit and I got a lot of positive feedback. So I thought, well shoot, If they like them, maybe I’d better make my own store for them so I can actually make some money. That is how Kovered in Joy! was born.

Kovered in Joy! is a cute, quirky accessories brand for the nerdy, creative Muslimah. It features sweet pastels contrasted with black (cuz thats my jam).

The Kovered in Joy! blog portion will feature styles I create inspired by the essence of the brand.

Check out my store and make a purchase why dont yah! http://www.koveredinjoy.ecwid.com

My New Normal

Posted on by Khadeejah in Uncategorized

So today(wrote this yesterday, today is day 3) was Day 2 of being a stay at home aunt. Since Im trying to have a more healthy and active lifestyle, I decided I’d take the girls (8 mos, 2 yr and 5 year) for a walk a couple times a week after dropping the boys to school. Today we went to the #GreenfieldVillage in #dearborn. Yall I was feeling so proud; got them dressed fed and out the door and to our destination on time…. then struggled in the parking lot for 10 minutes trying to open the dang stroller. I literally tried calling my sister for help😭😂 Some of yall might remember when I used to say that if I didnt have kids and was unmarried by 30 I’d adopt… it’s not exactly the same but it sure as heck is close enough!I remember when I finally started working and was beginning the slow, arduous journey of living my life on my own terms I thought “I don’t think I could ever be a stay at home parent”. Ah, look at God always humbling, teaching and growing me😅 I feel like I now need to read mom blogs cuz I surely dont know what to do to entertain these girls all day (while trying to be a entrepreneur). Help! Im used to doing it a couple times a week but now that it’s all week and I’m kind of officially the stay at home caregiver until summer, I feel like I need a plan🤔Btw, as I walking around today pushing that darn stroller I had a thought, “I’m walking around with 3 blocks of kryptonite… aint no way Im ever going to attract my superman”😂 Yall get ready for my show because it sure will be interesting.. and if nothing else, entertaining 😉

Searching For Future Bae? Or Nah?

Posted on by Khadeejah in Uncategorized

I was sitting outside with my girls earlier and contemplating my journey how best to document and share it with yall. Being single, almost 30, single, co-raising seven kids, trying to write a book, having a brand and trying to relaunch my coaching business and not necessarily looking for love but trying desperately to be open to the idea of good men, love, relationships and ultimately marriage. Is it a lost cause? It has to be a lost cause right? SEVEN KIDS after all. S.E.V.E.N. What man would sign up for that? None.

Speaking of signing up, I’m currently vaguely signed up on two Muslim dating/marriage apps. I say vaguely because I only have the free subscription. I’m not paying a cent just to have thot boys make inappropriate comments.. Then again, they do say you get what you pay for so maybe…🤔

My question for you dear readers, is if I truly decided to delve into this Operation Find A Boo, would yall like to come along with me? And if so, should I vlog about it on my youtube channel? Or just blog about it here on my Instagram? Maybe a weekly live? Idk. I’m open to suggestions.

As mentioned earlier, Im not necessarily hunting for Mr. Right but one thing I do know for sure is that despite all I have seen, I know I dont want to be single forever. Sue me. I dont know about you but I’d kind of like to not die having never been kissed. How utterly tragic. I suppose I could hatch a plan to pretend I’m a teenager and go back to high school in the hopes of finding someone inappropriately younger than me only to fall madly in love with me teacher. After all, people always say I look young for my age. The only tiny hiccup that would prevent me from being Drew Barrymore is the fact that I’m muslim and don’t allow myself to be in situations where makeout sessions are a remote possibility.

Yes. I know you’re wondering now and the answer is yes: I am a virgin. Shocker. So in 10 years, I’ll be the 40 Year Old Virgin.

Sooooooo… I need a plan. Do I sign up for a few more websites? Pay the couple dollars a month? Swipe right on everyone? (Please dont make me do that). Help a sista out.

All the best

Khadeejah