Is My Black Really Beautiful

Just putting it out there, Asian men, #indian, #Pakistani and #Bengali men make me feel so ugly because I’m a #blackwoman. And I’m talking, next level, Smeagol, the Gollum from Lord of The Rings, type ugly. They make me feel like I am less than, beneath them; like I’m a mangy stray dog they found in the woods that they play with, have a great time, become great friends with but at the end of the day, leave in the woods because dogs aren’t allowed in the house.

Perhaps this may sound harsh, but it’s not meant to be harsh or offensive and I’m not backbitting simply by stating how I FEEL. And no one can deny, or bring up a defense to how I, or anyone else feels about something, so please, don’t try.

I’ve seen some of my fellow #BMW (black muslim women) speak out on this and have seen them verbally attacked and torn apart for voicing their experiences and feelings. You cannot invalidate someone’s truth just because it makes you uncomfortable.

And one of my truths is, as stated above, is that Asian men make me feel #ugly. They make my skin, hair, features, background, ancestors all feel ugly and unacceptable. And before you ask why I singled out Asian men, it’s because that’s where my experience lies. In my very limited experience with, say, #Arab men, they either deny my existence all together or I’m the dog they adore and want to take home but their mamas are allergic.

But here’s the thing, you dont need my experience, ask just about any BMW of a certain age. They nearly all have a story to tell. Let’s face it, black people, black women have been seen as the lowest of low globally since, well, practically forever. And if you don’t believe that, educate yourself.

And I’m not the kind of person who ever cared about or focused on #race, but when you’re constantly rejected because of it, your perspective starts to shift.

You have to start actively trying to accept and love yourself not just as a woman, but as a black woman. Honestly, growing up I never cared one way or the other about my race, it was just part of who I was, like being female or short. I look very, what one would call “ethnically black” and never did I see it as a problem. But as I got older and more exposed to the world and saw and experienced how much negativity is associated to that one aspect of me. I started to understand why women would repeat #MyBlackIsBeautiful, creating a positive association with our race and features to combat the hate we get from all sides. And when I say all sides, I mean all sides. Many of our own men find us distasteful and, wait for it, some of our very own black women think we should try to be “less black”, whatever the heck that means. ­čśÉ

In #Islam, racism, colorism, culturalism are all explicitly forbidden, but I suppose people will be people, Muslim or not­čśĽ. And for those with blinders on and are in denial that racism is alive and kicking within the Muslim community, it’s story time!

I’ve been on a Muslim marriage website for a couple years now, not and active or paying member but I wanted to get an idea of what’s out there. Well, let me just tell you, those websites, no matter how much they claim they are for practising Muslims are not really made for black #muslimahs. Now my profile clearly states that I’m black. But it’s as if guys are like “she sounds incredible.. but… dang, she why gotta be black though.. maybe she doesn’t look black ­čĄö *requests photo*”. 99% Of the asian guys disappear as soon as they see me. (About 85% of the Arab guys disappear). Just the other day a guy messaged me, we coincidentally went to the same university. He was all gungho about getting to know me, said he uploaded some photos and hoped we could do a photo exchange. My… slightly irritated and possibly uncalled for response, “I’m so done with all the racism on this website. I’m a black woman, as my profile clearly states. If that’s a problem for you, stop right now.” He stopped. Oh I have sooo many other stories. A little tip, if a guy’s profile says he’s open to all ethnicities…. don’t believe it.. or maybe it’s not because I’m black at all, maybe I’m just #fugly­čśé­čĺü

All Aglow in Hues of Gray

Hey Sweeties! Happy Saturday!

This is actually an outfit from last week. I had to run a few errands so literally throw something on, lol. I really don’t have many clothes since I moved to Michigan so I have to be creative with what I have. Literally all the pieces I have on are extremely old. The skirt is actually too big because I bought it when I was much heavier(proof I just how very old it is).┬áI’d go thrift shopping but I don’t even have the funds for that yet! But soon in sha allah.┬á20170513_125516-01

Since I had the cardigan belted to keep it closed as I only had a very fitted  camisole underneath, I put a vest on over it before I left my apartment for the sake of modesty.

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One Dress, Three Ways

Hello Sweeties! Happy Saturday

Well, after finally figuring out how to separate my blog posts so that my style posts don’t get mixed up with my everyday, we can finally get this started. ­čÖé

When I’m not working, it’s pretty much all dresses and skirts for me. Though I don’t consider myself girly, I’m extremely, unapologetically┬á“feminine” (whatever that means). I honestly feel like there is nothing I can’t do in a dress. I’ve worked out in them, rode bikes in them, planted gardens in them. I’m unstoppable in dress! Now, I’m not anti-pants or anything like that and I do wear them on occassion(like to work). But I honestly, I barely own any. Seriously, aside from work pants, I have… two pair… no lie. Pants really don’t represent my style and well, I’m short and finding pants (not jeans, hate jeans) in my lenght is darn near impossible.

Anyhoo.

My outfit of.. Wednesday. The main piece was the black floral polkadotted dress.

20170510_122210-01┬áFor the first look, I the dress with a coral toned cardigan, the belt that came woth the dress, a bright yellow scarf/hijab, and open toed heels. If you’re feeling especially colorful.

 

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For the second, more toned down look, I switched to a pair fow white slip on sneakers, threw on a soft black jacket and a black scarf/hijab for a girly, edgy vibe.

 

For the last look, I dropped the sneakers and replaced them with black, knee high boots. I added a long sleeve black t-shirt, lost the belt for added modesty and threw on that vibrant orange print scarf because I was feeling daring and wanted to mix patterns. I also threw on the black, elbow length gloves because the sleeves to the t-shirt didn’t quite reach my wrists and added some colorful bangles for fun.

La Femme Khadeejah

Ok Sweeties! Today is Wednesday and I’m embarking on something new. Or at least, attempting to. First thing you should know about me is, I abhor fashion. I hate the idea that this or that is what people “should be wearing”. I hate trends, being “in style” etc. Now, I absolutely love clothes as a form of SELF expression. Expressing yourself, your personality, not what people suggest you express.

All that being said, the thing I need to express, to the entire world, every single day I step out of my home is: I am a proud Muslim woman. I’m a covered girl. My dress not only expresses my personality but my religious devotion. Now there are a ton of Hijabi fashionistas or Hijabistas and modest fashion and bloggers are all the rage these days. Muslimah is the new black. And as a firm anti trend follower, while respect what they do, It wasn’t for me and I was not about to be just another hijabi beauty blogger.

BUT

I’ve noticed a newly developed need. The thing about modest fashion, is that the term ┬ámodest┬áis open to interpretation and there are varying degrees what is considered┬ámodest. But the most popular bloggers and icons in the modest movement don’t dress like me. They don’t cover as much. This is in no way a judgement, it’s an observation. They are out there slaying the game and in many ways are helping the way this country (The US) views Muslim women.

I’m the laid back chick who never has her face beat,┬áeyebrows are never on fleek,┬áI do not now, nor will I ever rock a turban. I don’t expose my neck, any portion of my hair or arms, I avoid tight clothes and I hate pants, lol. But I haven’t seen any one out there that represents girls & women like me. Now I’m not someone who ever needed representation, I never needed to see myself on television, in magazines. But I realize, most people do. Most people crave seeing their likeness in the media for validation. Hence the need I previously mentioned. I have nieces. My baby girls. 8 months to 18 years old. And I’m starting this new “fashion/style” blog for them. For the covered girls.